Don’t Be Attached To The Outcome
Today I want to talk about something I have implemented and that I have been practicing for a couple years of my life. I call it not being attached to the outcome. I believe often, especially in my past that I would have expectations, you would meet something and expect it to be like ‘this’ or ‘that’. What I’ve discovered from that is I might be setting it up for failure instead of setting it up for success. So one thing that I’ve shifted is not being attached to the outcome. I implement that in my business, I implement that in my life, and it’s just a great way for me to create space for more than what’s really there. If you have expectations it could be a limitation. I like to use words like “this is going to bigger than I can imagine” or “this is going to turn out better than I can imagine.” I like to use those words instead of “it better be this way” or “I better get this.” Who are we to say that “we better get something,” I believe this is a form of entitlement, and entitlement comes directly from scarcity. When you come from abundance you realize that the divine is working in our favor, some days it might not feel like that though.
To be put in real simple terms, if you meet someone and you’re going to go out on a date, and you as the female says “he better buy dinner and he better open the door” and so on. That’s an expectation, so if he doesn’t buy dinner and makes you pay for half then you’re already disappointed and you’ve set it up for failure. Now, I’m not saying that paying for dinner is right or wrong but what if instead you said, “this date’s going to be really fun tonight.” So, what if you look past that expectation of dinner, he may be planning something so magical for the night, he may swoop you off your feet by having an arranged carriage ride. Unfortunately,you were so worried about dinner that you weren’t even thinking that could be something better for the date.
I often like to attach a certain mathematical equation to be attached to the outcome and it is this:
People are attached to A + B = C and they are so focused on C, they want C so incredibly bad that I think, what if the universe had Z in store for you, but you were so focused on C that Z never even had the opportunity to show up because you didn’t create space for something bigger than you can possibly imagine right or deserve, or even receive at this moment. The people that tend to be focused on the “how” and the “why” seem to be stuck in that mathematical equation. We need to remember this is a universe we live in, and there are a lot more mathematical equations than A + B = C.
For me practicing not being attached to the outcome has done amazing things for me in my life, it has shifted things into my life that previously I wouldn’t even had known were possible.
One of the greatest stories that I have (I have many) about this is about a friend of mine who was trying to encourage her mom to buy a home instead of continue renting. Her mom was like “I can’t buy a house, what’re you talking about?” My friend then told her mom, “just go talk to Faith.” So we did talk, she took the leap of faith, called me, we got together, and started putting the loan process together. Next thing you know we’re out looking for houses. In the end we found the perfect place, and I remember during the walkthrough of the house, which is just before the closing, I remember her wanting me to help her decide and pick paint colors for each room. We drew a map of the home and jotted down ‘paint 1’ this room, ‘paint 2’ that room, etc. So I called her the following week to see how her closing went, how she was enjoying her new home, and if she got the new paint colors, and she says to me “Faith, who would’ve thought someone who makes $12.00 an hour could own their own home?”
The 2nd part to this story and client is begins 2 years after she bought her home and we see that her equity in her home is now $100,000. So she began renting for 7-10 years making $12 an hour, buys her own home, and within 2 years had made $100,000 equity if she chooses to sell. We decide to put her house on the market and begin to look for a replacement home, but with her $12 an hour job she is unable to find anything. Then while the house is on the market she gets laid off. Here I am not being attached to the outcome and I call her and I say “you know what I get it, if you want to take your property off the market I totally understand. If you want to keep it on the market let me know, either way whatever’s best for you.” So she says “let’s just ride it out for the weekend,” and sure enough the next day we receive an offer. I let her think about it. When she calls she says, “you know what Faith, I’m not sure I can pay my mortgage next month, lets go ahead and sell.” So we did and she got over $100,000 at the closing, and for someone who made $12 an hour this was amazing. Not being attached to the outcome made it possible, and I told her what if you could find a job for the same pay, but you could buy a bigger house now? A few weeks ago she called me and said “I’m so excited, I just got offered a job and I told him how much I wanted to make and he paid me that exact amount.” Her words were, “who would’ve thought that I could ask for the value that I’m worth!”
So, in the end she being paid way more than her $12 an hour from before, and we can find her her perfect home. This was because neither of us chose to be attached to outcome, like, I have to sell buy March 1st, or I need to have a better job to buy, with these thoughts we may have had some disappointments along the way. Instead it’s like magic, it’s create something so big in her life, she sees her value for maybe the 1st time in her entire life and it’s magical to be a part of that.
So, to be able to help people realize that not being attach to the outcome can actually attract more abundance, more love into your life. Start practicing that, the next time you have a client, your meeting a client and you find yourself saying “they better hire me, they better use me,” you really want to take a step back and say “wait a minute who am I to say they better hire me.” Just going to that meeting is a gift for that interview or meet for the job.
Another great example, a friend of mine, Don Jackson (his story is in my book), he was on unemployment and really struggling and came to me and asked for some ideas of how to get through his rough time. So we talked about creating something that wasn’t possible, that he could see but wasn’t in his range. I told him “you know what, the interview will be there, what if you go home tonight and there’s an interview waiting for you in your email?” He said, “yeah, ok, I can feel that,” and he got on board and he could picture it and feel it. Well sure enough a little later he calls saying he got the email and the interview is tomorrow, “it’s so amazing how it works.” I said not being attached to the outcome when it comes to what it looks like when you go in for the interview is so important. The next day he calls, “Faith I need your help, I got a 2nd interview and I need your help to manifest more during that.” I asked what they were going to pay him and responded with $95 an hour, which is a significant amount of money for him. So I said “what if they paid you $10 more than that?,” instead of just going in and expecting this outcome, what if it could be bigger than that? He says, “Ok ,alright,” and he could feel his energy and believed it was possible. After his interview he calls to tell me that they had given him a $10,000 hiring bonus; “does that count for that extra $10 an hour?” “Yeah, I think that does work,” I said to him. What a beautiful way of not being attached to the income, he was grateful for $95 and hour but received a $10,000 bonus.
All in all we see that because he was not attached to any outcome he had room for more, was able to attract more abundance. It has been so beautiful to see how people can implement this in their own lives and practice not being attached to the outcome. So the next time you’re focused on C think about what if the universe has Z in store for me and just create space for you and people around you for something bigger to happen. Stop focusing on the outcome and start focusing on your intention, and whatever your intention is for you, for your business, for your life; I said earlier intention is to make a positive impact in people’s lives. When that opportunity comes up for me everyday, it’s magical, it’s not entitled to me by any means, it’s a gift.
I believe when you see life as a gift, gifts keep showing up. Consider that, next time you are so focused on something having to turn out the way you want it too, maybe surrender to that and not be attached to the outcome.
Thanks for reading and Have a Magical day!